“Few things in this corporeal world give me pleasure quite like grinding dead birds to a fine mushy paste between rows of my own exposed, pointed bones. The gustatory sensation as the nutrient-rich paste that was once bird flesh mixes with saliva, slithers across my dorsum and dives down my gullet like the digestive system’s own Slip n’ Slide brings me unfathomable satisfaction.” Is not an acceptable response to “What is your favorite food?” at the office team building meeting.

As an aside, does anyone know how to get back into a Zoom meeting once you’ve been kicked out?



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